My Awakening

The original story did not include this part. But I wouldn’t have made certain future decisions or had certain thoughts, without the trauma that happened to me- my awakening, my cornerstone. It happened right after the new year 2014, and some details are left out on purpose, but those details shouldn’t be the focus of the story. 

 

It was Christmas vacation, and I was with my family in the house I grew up in. I suddenly collapsed and couldn’t move with a deep internal feeling that something was really wrong. I had just enough energy to call out to my family that I couldn’t move, and they were startled and didn’t know what to do right away since I had been a healthy girl all my life. I was not answering their questions and they quickly realized something was very wrong and they took me in their car to the hospital. My body cradled in arms, my mind wandering to happy memories without actively taking it there. Was I dying? I was with the people that I loved most, but I had been wanting to escape the life I was living for quite some time. I can’t explain the feeling well, but it was a feeling of impending doom, and regret knowing that both me and my life had not fully bloomed yet. I felt like I would not get a second chance to change it. I was in the hospital for 5 of the longest days of my life, surrounded by lifeless white walls, tubes and wires running everywhere along me with no chance of sleep, and invasive tests that they told me I would not remember. The worst part though was having to see your family crowd around you, and not know what to say. Everyone deals with emotions differently. Some knew exactly what to say, and were positive/optimistic/hopeful. But family never has a poker face.  And even if they put on a strong face, you feel what they are feeling. If they are saying they love you more than normal, and tearing up when they look at you, were they preparing for the end? Should I? So I did - I acted as if every day was my last, but before I knew it a year went by, and all I had gained was major depression. I didn’t want to have a job, that seemed to be waste of life, I barely had the stamina to finish college. All I wanted to do was dance and be outside and cuddle, and be near my family just in case something happened again. Everyone insisted on me starting anti-depressants, but I knew the side effects, and if I was treating every day like my last, would I really want to feel like a zombie on top of it all?

 

Jump forward another year - I slowly taught myself how to overcome depression without the use of prescription meds (not going to lie I still get it sometimes - I’m human okay), I finally finished college and got a normal job and lived just like everyone else. The 9-5 job, having a boss that doesn’t appreciate you, working your ass off every day to come home eat and sleep. Life was too distracting to have thoughts about anything else except making money to prove to my family I could make it on my own, and not give up at work and have to leave due to the many issues that were going on then, along with bad anxiety. Time really does heal, and it was 2 years at this medical office that gave me the strength and courage to start realizing I was more than just an employee.

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Quitting the 9-5

After 10 years in the medical field I started wondering if there was more in life than the typical 9 to 5 job, feeling exhausted and drained during work and after work. Feeling under-appreciated and under-stimulated at work. Only having enough time in the day to work, come home eat and sleep. It’s only human that your mind at work starts to wonder….What is this all for? Yes I have financial stability with this job, but was this happiness? I’m so glad I can finally prove to myself and my family I can take care of myself on my own, but as my mind wanders it goes back in time to the memory of me on what I thought was death’s bed. I was thinking I wanted to accomplish so much more in life, and now that I was confident my life would continue for longer, I had an epiphany that I needed a quick change. 

 

I decided to quit my job, and travel for a bit. I didn’t know where yet, I just know I had to leave and gain life experience somewhere else other than the same town I grew up in. I was yearning for change. I was restless, and searching for something but I didn’t know what. I decided Spain was the place to start since I love the Spanish culture and I wanted to learn Spanish. 

 

Worldly and Culture Experiences

Traveling by myself was invigorating. It gave me a new strength that I didn’t know I had. I didn’t think I was capable to find my way around a foreign country by myself, know how to talk to people or let alone make friends. Coming from a place that drilled into my head that women shouldn’t travel alone, it is too dangerous. Having my parents believe it too, and have them worried every day that I was gone. I was gone for almost 3 months and visited 6 countries. I learned how to navigate around by myself even when I didn’t speak the language, I would both organize my days, and leave my days up to fate. I made more friends and connections than I could have possibly imagined, and my love of life and curiosity was coming back.

 

When I returned home I thought I would be so excited to tell my family everything that happened, but it was so much harder than I thought it would be. I couldn’t explain the way I truly felt and what each experience really meant to me. Part of it had to do with a flashback that kept coming to me right before I left with my mom saying “maybe traveling will help you find what you are looking for, and when you come back you will know what to do with your life.” Had I found what I was searching for? I came back with a happy invigorated soul, but I was not truly fulfilled. I didn’t want to disappoint my family and my bank account was empty so I quickly searched for a job back in the medical field. Had interviews, but secretly didn’t want them to pick me. I rushed and applied to nursing school during this time so I could become a travel nurse and fulfill the part of me that loves to travel, hoping I would be satisfied. The nursing schools really loved my resume, I had a great GPA, and experience (as that is what I have done with my whole life up to this point) and was accepted immediately. It was all going so fast, and I convinced myself I would move states and go to nursing school in the next 3 months. And then a voice…. “Stop. Take a breath. Picture your life again, how does it go.” This was a pivotal point in my life, I could feel it. I could change the outcome of my life right now, all I have to do is choose a path. Any path. 

 

The Epiphany

As I was skimming across YouTube one day, I came across Stephan James videos on how to become an Entrepreneur and also creating an Amazon business. His videos were so inspirational along with a bunch of people just like me who had no business background but decided to start their own business on the account of being so frustrated at their regular job. I watched these videos for a week straight. I had to be a part of this. I had to join this group. -And So i did! I told my family I was starting my own business and I think they had to hold themselves from laughing. I had no business background, how would I do this? But I was so determined…

 

“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be” - George A. Sheehan.

 

And I believe I was meant to become something more than the life I was living, and I will strive to become the successful person I saw in my mind. Little did I know I would be going back to my artistic, creative, community-building roots I always had as a kid. I remember always creating things, having new inspirations, being curious and asking questions about everything, making fun little dance routines for the neighbors and I, and recording them to watch later. As I was the oldest in my group of friends, I also remember taking on a leader role as a child/young teen, and organizing events or games we were doing, or being the peace keeper when there was conflict. I often wonder, if we had a better school system if peoples true abilities would come out sooner - and therefore we would be able to focus on them and fine-tune them sooner (Instead of focusing on what society deems as a successful career path). In my mind this would of course lead to more entrepreneurs vs working for the man, because there would be more individuality and creativity in the world.

 

Creating a New Business

After this point, as I just took weeks and weeks to just think about having a business, and what it would be - creative ideas just kept flowing to me. Amazing how you just take a break from everything how fast things will fall into place. The name BailaBuddy came to me in the shower. I had been helping people learn dance just for fun, and more and more people were hearing the word about this and asking me as well. I thought about being the dance helper friend and that’s how “BailaBuddy” came about:). It has now evolved to be a dance community helper and builder. Not only do I offer the thing that started it all - practice lessons/private lessons, but I have now expanded to offer more things that our dance community needs in the RDU area - and that is videography and editing services to help promote both individual dancers, and also dance events. BailaBuddy also is expanding to offer dance/travel/exercise wear! So far there is only one product, was sold on Amazon but now moving everything to my website.

 

The idea for this product first came to me because ladies were chucking their purses anywhere and everywhere when they were asked to dance, and I thought, I don’t really want to leave my purse sitting around, is there a way I can just keep the essentials on me, but hidden so I don’t have a traditional fanny pack (pouch) strapped to me while I dance? So, I designed a form-fitting spandex fanny pack/running belt. Inspired to use for dancers to wear under skirts/dresses, but also inspired from my trip to Europe and having personally been pick-pocketed!! So my design has safety flaps/folds and stays form fit to your body, with the ability to stretch any direction for better fit, comfort, and more storage space. I also made it unisex color and adjustable sizes so anyone can wear it:). *Not meant to be an ad, I am just so impressed that I could do all of this myself, I am proud to share what I have created. And it is just the beginning of my dream of having some form of passive income so I can continue to travel, learn, and grow:)

Check it out if you haven’t already in the Store! --> BBuddyWear Adjustable Running Belt  

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Trying to accomplish everything myself definitely wasn't easy and took a total of 7-8 months so far (and still going), but it does provide a sense of achievement. I had no idea what I was doing... it took hours and hours of research everyday. I learned how to design my whole website - which is a lot harder than it looks lol! Also during this time developed videography and editing skills, that I first needed to grow my own business, and now have had requests to help people grow theirs with these skills I have learned! One of my favorite parts about starting my own business has been all this knowledge I have gained, and belief in myself that if I want to accomplish something, I can! It just takes motivation, dedication and perseverance :)

 

The Life I Always Wanted

The excitement is just beginning as my new life journey is unfolding. I finally really do feel like I am living my dreams, my dreams are my reality. I wake up every day thanking myself for the life I have. I finally have the time every day for myself. All those times that you say “if I had more time, I would do this —."  I finally have the time to work out, to read books, to song write, to dance late at night without having to worry about getting up super early for work. I also have more time to call family and friends on the phone and invest more time in their lives. These connections are so important to me, and I don’t want to lose it. I also have the time to cook more, exercise, and care about my health again. And on top of that I have the time to throw local dance events, teach, DJ, develop my skills as a dancer and teacher, & write and record for social media (soo much work but posting is essential for business growth). I am so proud of everything I have accomplished so far, and I did it all on my own! Down to every little detail! I am proud of the business I have built, and plan to grow and expand in the next few years. I cannot wait to continue this path that I have carved out from scratch, and I have been AMAZED how many people are willing to help me and support me along the way. I finally feel that I am starting to bloom, and I can’t wait for what the future holds <3.